That Which is Not Seen
That which is seen is so easy to believe and to relate to.
But what about that which is not seen?
According to 19th century economist Fredric Bastiat, understanding “that which is not seen” is the key to understanding the true value of a situation.
Our family was recently on ABC’s Wife Swap as the “nonconformist California family who have radical views on mainstream society and traditional education.” I don’t mind that introduction. I identify with it.
If you saw the episode, you will wonder why anyone would choose this for their family. You will see new mom Kerry get quite upset about us being lazy and about our lack of concern for our children’s education and about their apparent lack of education.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
First a little about Kerry. Because of the nature of the swap, all I know about her comes from our brief encounter at the table meeting and from me living her life and from what my husband Lee has told me about her. So it is possible I have her wrong. But from what I gather, Kerry is a very nice person (not seen on the show) with incredible amounts of energy. She is a non-stop machine. Almost super-human. She is constantly on the go, and she has high expectations for herself and her girls. But the thing to remember is this: She does nothing in a small way. Her reactions to what she saw in my home were often overblown, typical of her intense personality.
That said, it is true that my boys may be behind their peers in some of the academic subjects. That comes across loud and clear on the show. That is what is seen.
What is not seen is how incredibly intelligent my sons are.
First off, Nicholas was hardly even shown. If you want to see the results of this approach to education, you have Nicholas as a prime example. Not only is he very competent in academics, he is also very capable of expressing himself and his opinions in a rational and intelligent way. He did very well at standing up to Kerry with some wonderful insights about why he feels his education is superior. Instead, practically all you see of him is his fun dance.
In addition to the usual academics, Nicholas has also had the time do devote to other great projects. Like an internship in New York, starting college at 17, earning the rank of Eagle Scout and also expanding on his personal genius, which is in design. Here is an example of some of his older work: http://thisnick.com/gallery.html
A Heavenly College Education on an Earthly Budget
He also designed the cover of Lee’s book:
Speaking of Lee’s book, Kerry bad-mouthed his book in the show, without even having read it. One of her rules that were not seen on the show was that Lee get a professional opinion of the book. They went and the professional gave the book a very favorable review. WHEW!
Speaking of Lee, I am very pleased with the way he handled Kerry. She yelled in his face a lot and didn’t give him much of a chance to have a rational conversation with her. Her loss, really. I’m just glad that he did not lower himself to yelling back at her. That’s not the way to have an intelligent conversation.
Now back to the boys. Riley really got the brunt of Kerry’s concern. He does not write much or do much math. That is what is seen. I’m not worried about it, because I know that he is a highly intelligent person and that when he is ready to, he will seek out how to do it on his own and he will do quite well.
What was not seen is that Riley is very advanced for his age.
Given the opportunity to learn on his own, he really latched on to reading. He loves, loves, LOVES to read! It is very likely that Kerry saw Riley spend hours a day reading. And then she called him illiterate?
Riley once stacked up all the books that he read in a single year. The stack was taller than himself. And that didn’t include the many library books that he had read. And you wanna know what? That was the same year Riley started reading. He was nine, and the stack included the entire Harry Potter series. If he were in school he would have been labeled stupid for starting to read late and he never would have learned to love to read.
In reality, the only place in the world where it matters what subjects are learned and when is in the traditional schools. In the real world, learning is always relevant to what is required at hand. So it is true that I would be concerned about Riley being behind if he were in school. Those bad labels can last a lifetime.
In the past two years (he’s now 11) Riley has probably read more books than most adults have read in a lifetime. And he wouldn’t have the time to read this much if he were forced to go to school every day. Kind of ironic, don’t you think?
Riley is also a self-proclaimed nerd. He loves the title and it fits him well. In addition to being a voracious bookworm, he likes to play chess, has a very high vocabulary, and likes to research stuff - anything that comes to mind.
In the Wife Swap episode, you see Kerry doing the time machine activity with Riley. This is the theme we used for school last year. It was a theme based on Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, where each week we got in our phone booth and transported to other times and places to meet great minds throughout time. It was a great year. We did this with several other families. Imagine the children gleefully dialing in the number and then dashing off to the country on the enormous floor map. Excellent teaching tools. Inspiring. Fun. Great times. Riley enjoyed every week.
Then along comes Kerry, with her public school-minded approach to education. She took the fun and joyful act of learning and turned it into something painful for Riley. What you saw happening there is not Kerry teaching Riley, but testing him. How many children do you know would be happy to be put on the spot like that? Riley showed how uncomfortable he was by not even trying. In the end, he very deliberately stood on his own town and said, “Is this France?” It was not fun for him, nor was it even educational. It is obvious from that experience that Riley did not learn where France is. This was not Riley’s failure, it was Kerry’s. I asked Riley about what happened. He said, “I don’t know. I don’t like geography.” What? He spent an entire year learning and playing on that map and then he’s given one bad experience with the map and all of a sudden he doesn’t like geography? What a shame. I spend so much of my time leading my children to enjoy all kinds of learning, but then Kerry went and gave him one long-lasting lesson: geography is NOT fun. I wonder how long it will take for Riley to learn to like geography again?
On to Harrison. Well, again, not a lot is shown of him. This is probably because he is the most academically intelligent of all my children. What is not seen is that he taught himself how to read when he was four. Although he is not as voracious a reader as Riley is, he does love to read. Often, after we’ve all gone to bed, Harrison will grab a stack of picture books to read for another hour before settling in. He also enjoys lots of non-fiction books (like books on spiders or the human body) and an occasional fictional chapter book. Right now he is in the middle of the third Animorphs book.
Here’s a video from over a year ago that shows how talented a reader he is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-dPSEqZdhQ . Of course, he’s only gotten better since then.
Harrison is also an incredible speller. When Riley is writing and calls out asking how to spell a word, Harrison spells it for him. Harrison has also been caught correcting Nicholas’ spelling. Harrison enjoys sitting on my lap while I type so he can catch my errors.
Smart, smart kid.
When I offer to do some schoolish stuff with Harrison, he will either have me read to him or he will want to do some math with me. This could mean playing a game, handling manipulatives, or making up our own math problems. What’s great is that Harrison also likes to come up with his own way of solving the problems. He finds patterns in the problems and discovers solutions.
Watch out, world, Harrison is on his way!
…And to my greatest disappointment, the show never even filmed us at our school. They got shots of Kerry at work, but what is not seen is me at work, teaching at my school.
Imagine a school where each day is an adventure. The children want to sit up front because they don’t want to miss one exciting moment. But they don’t sit for long! Soon they are happily moving about the room, involving their whole bodies in the learning experience. Matching up pictures, building things, collaborating, debating. Lots of energy in the room, lots of positive interaction, lots of fun, lots of learning. But maybe it’s a good thing Kerry didn’t try teaching my students. What if they wouldn’t want to come back!
In addition to those great school activities, we also go on lots of field trips. This is where the deepest and most memorable learning happens. For more about my school, visit http://www.celebrationeducation.com/
This school is based on many years of study into the best ways for children to learn. Some of the findings I have made have been around for over twenty years. This information is readily available to any school.
But the mainstream approach to education is hundreds of years old and very deeply ingrained. Traditions are hard to let go of, even if they are bad ones. Not many people are brave enough to make any real kind of change. Rather, since these studies have come out, our nation’s public schools have gotten farther away from true learning by implementing the No Child Left Behind laws – you know, those laws that don’t allow children to find their own genius and to get ahead. The crazy thing about laws like these is that they assume that if the system isn’t working it’s because we don’t have enough of it. So the answer to a bad thing is to have more of a bad thing? That just doesn’t make sense. Rather, we need to look at the very base of the situation. How does a child learn best? The true answers are great for kids, but scary for legislators.
Fortunately, in California, private schools are allowed to set their own standards. Rather than putting together a complicated set of standards where I evaluate each child in order to determine if they are above, at, or below standard, I expect great things from each of my students. That does not mean that they will all perform at levels above state standards. It means that they will work within their own personal genius and gain a sense of who they are as an individual and that they will have the opportunity to excel at those things that they are naturally gifted in.
I believe all children are gifted in some way(s) and that it is the parents’ and teachers’ responsibility to encourage those things that make that child unique. It is wholly inappropriate for a child to ignore their genius in order to get “caught up” with the rest of the children who happen to be born in the same year as themselves. This would only hamper their genius and take away from them what makes them special. I cringe at the thought.
So are my children disadvantaged? Does allowing them to fall behind the crowd a little injure them? Is it bad that my children read so much? Is it bad that they actually know how to teach themselves (you know, give a man a fish…)? Is stepping out into the real world to learn such a bad thing?
No, no, no, no, and no.
The reverse is true. I feel sorry for the children who are stuck in the box for hours a day. Sitting at the same desk. Interacting with the same children. Cut off from the real world. Reading from textbooks. Filling in bubbles. This is the lowest form of learning and it’s what you have to do for a generation of children who believe that learning is bad. Children who have no idea how to learn on their own.
In the episode, I took Krista and Brooke to a theme park to show them that learning can happen anywhere. What is not seen is how difficult it was for them to do this. Both girls are taking physics classes. At the park I tried to engage them in a discussion on physics. I do this with my children all the time. We can go on for hours. But these girls couldn’t. Krista actually asked for a teacher and a classroom. She couldn’t see how the things in her textbook apply to real life. She could not have that discussion. She demonstrated that she couldn’t think outside that box. Bummer. What a waste of time. But if it’s not actually knowledge one is after, but just grades, that’s what happens.
So remember that what is seen on this episode of Wife Swap is entertainment. There is so much more that is not seen.
I choose to set my children free.
Free to be themselves.
Free to learn.
This is what should be seen.
-Heather Martinson
HeatherMartinson.com
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You are welcome to comment, but please be respectful. I welcome discussion and am happy to hear from those who disagree with me. I am always open to learning new things. Posts that include attacks on myself or others will be removed in entirety.
February 4th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Hurrah for you Heather and your wonderful family! I have sent this post around to as many people as I know who would “get it”. Unfortunately there are many more who don’t get it and are unable to see outside of the box.
and have unschooled ever since. We made the switch because we had two boys who were depressed and stressed and completely turned off from learning. It was a complete paradigm shift for us and we have never looked back.
We started out in the school system (until my older son was
It is such a shame that Wife Swap didn’t present the two family’s lifestyles more fairly and let the viewers make up their own minds.
February 5th, 2009 at 5:03 am
Heather,
I am so sorry this happened to you but I am not surprised. “Reality TV” is a misnomer and it pains me to think of what your family went through while filming and the repercussions you may feel after the show airs. I hope you find comfort in the many, many people who do understand and support this method of schooling, and in the fact that you know the truth — that your children are the recipients of a wonderful, respectful, involved education.
February 6th, 2009 at 5:03 am
I just wanted to send some kudos your way. The way you stated your side of things is so honest and respectful to the show and the other family. That speaks volumes to your integrity and sense of worth. Good for you. I’m homeschooling 3 boys (6, 4 and almost 2) and keep going back and forth with “style.” My favorite golden moments of learning have happened in the natural world of unschooling, so I find it very inspirational reading your post. Thank you for that!
February 6th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Heather, I loved Harrisons hand actions that they showed, it cracked me up!!! You presented yourself well, they had a hard time making you look bad even though they tried! They did a good job of making the rest of your family look bad though. Sad. I wish they would have showed more of Nicholas. Love you guys!!!!
February 6th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
When I saw your email on the CHN mailing list, I had a feeling they’d do something like they did. I’ve watched a few shows before, and that seems to be the way they do things. Even with how they tried to portray you, you came off looking pretty good, imo. Better than I would have, I’m sure!
February 6th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
What about your daughter?
February 7th, 2009 at 12:42 am
What background do you have in physics? My mom was a physics teacher and I know it’s not something you pick up by osmosis. To learn it takes work, even for geniuses…. My impression was that you and your husband had a lot of enthusiasm for teaching, but none of the actual information needed. If you want to teach at an amusement park, take the time to teach the fundamentals first.
February 7th, 2009 at 1:02 am
Heather
You did a great job, dispite every effort on their part to make you look bad.
My 14yr old son said he felt sorry for the other girls. “They were sad, and empty. You can tell no one gives them love everyday.” The one thing you could tell is children will learn if they want to even when we’re not around. However, the love we give our kids and teach them how to love is something we can only do for a few years. Then they don’t want to learn. You could see that in how fake the hug was for the dad.
Thanks for reminding me why I do this!
Love
Patti
February 7th, 2009 at 8:41 am
I wish I could say differently, but this unschooling-to-be Mom was far from impressed with your example of what a home-based education is supposed to be like. It wasn’t the editing, just the things that came out of your whole family’s mouth.
It would have been great to see more of your older son and less of Dad saying “It’s not all about the kids.”
Anyways… Best Wishes. It’s takes a brave woman to air herself on TV!
February 7th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
There is no family without children, and when talking about one’s education… It should absolutely be all about them… Gaining the knowledge their parents have to share.. And more! That’s how a home-based education will play a role in our family lifestyle.
Your child was lacking in math while Dad is a financial planner? See that didn’t make sense to me.
The only reason why I am providing home-based education is so my children can excel beyond their schooled peers. Yes, I *do* believe in standards, not to be confused with grades.
Different strokes for different folks. There is no one road to success. Mom typically does know what’s best for her family.
February 7th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Majkitab, I know how easy it is to say, “It’s film, her words couldn’t be taken that far out of context.” However, as someone who had done a little film editing, and has an eye for that kind of thing, I’ve got to say that I have seen Daily Show segments (ones edited for comedic effect) that were far less mangled. It would only have been more comical if they had dubbed over her in a completely different voice. Based on that I didn’t feel the show to be persuasive either way, so I’m seeking out information on the families because that is why I watch the show in the first place, to get an idea of how other families live. Thanks, Heather, for being here to provide a little insight. I am one of many who was let down by the traditional school system, and I am very curious about unschooling in general.
I wish it could have been pointed out in the show where you and Kerry had common ground. Both of you understand that sticking your kids in public school is a path of least resistance with no guarantees of success, that parental involvement in a child’s education is what makes the real difference. You really only disagreed on what form that influence needed to take.
I was curious though about the amount of time spent on the computer, which is something they kept rehashing. I’m assuming they cut out what it is you do during that time. I imagine that a lot of your ideas for teaching your children and pursuing your own education have come from internet research. I have qualms about relying on the internet for information due to my own biases. I am a library kind of girl living in a google world, and I wonder if you have any particular favorite learning resources that you wouldn’t mind sharing.
February 7th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I can assure you my children won’t be hindered or handicapped in anyway because of their experiences with me and their father throughout life. We are “Attached Parents”… What that means to us? Being in-tune and the best we can be for our children while letting them lead the way and show us what’s best for them; It’s been like this from day one.
Thanks for your response and the resources cited.
February 8th, 2009 at 7:49 am
Heather,
I am so feeling for you and your family right now. I have Homeschooled for a while and I must admit I didn’t catch the show. There is so much talk about it though that I just had to see what was the fuss.
As Homeschooler or “unschooler” the first choice our family made was to get rid of T.V. After hearing how the Media twisted your family into what doesn’t even read as true; I am so glad we did get rid of the T.V.
People around us are always trying to fit my daughter into a box. She is 10 and born earlly so if in the Public school system she would be in 4th grade. She was just tested and turns out academically she should be in 7th grade.( this is how the Govenment runs schools not by how smart they are but by their age) This isn’t from what we her parents have taught her..I myself have learning disabilities my Husband is very “Smart”so to speak” Yet our 10 year old amazes us all the time. She schools herself and guides us to what she needs to learn more of.
We unschool year round there is no need for a brake in learning because learning is fun’ it is an adventure when done right. I can tell by your posts that you fill each day with Fun and Hope for your children. I think the show owes your family an appropriate apology. Just because we teach out of the box doesn’t mean the children don’t learn! Shools these days are used for babysitting children and forcing them to be the same as everyone else. Schooling from home teaches a child how to learn in a World full ofd noise and distractions a World of wonder. In a classroom setting isn’t “being readied for the real world”
I pray that you will continue to teach your wonderful children and not let the show ruin the worl you have created for them.
February 8th, 2009 at 8:28 am
The whole family watched the show! Dan was so offended at the screaming of the other Mom. Tom just thought your boys were awesome! Both my boys were aghast at the ignorance of the other family. To my boys, your family represented ours and every criticism they came up with, my boys refuted with their own personal experience. It was certainly entertaining to watch.
You came across as calm and intelligent despite the editing, although I’m sure you wish they did a better job. I wish they would have shown your older kids more and that the other family would have had some younger children.
You all were very brave!
February 9th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Hi Heather, Riley seems to show symptoms of Dyscalculia. Maybe you should investigate. I home schooled my daughter. She has Aspergers and Dyscalculia. Learning about Dyscalculia helped me to understand why it was hard for her to learn math as well as other things. I had to invent new ways to teach her.
http://www.as.wvu.edu/~scidis/dyscalcula.html
February 9th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Let me just say:
You.
Are.
Awesome.
I don’t have network TV, so I didn’t see the show. The show in which you participated has been under discussion on an email list I’m part of, and somebody referred me to this site. I just *had* to speak up and say BRAVO for the way you’re raising your kids. From what I’d heard about the show, I just knew it couldn’t have been fair to your family.
I’m homeschooling a kid who is very much a round peg in a square hole. She is who she is, and she’d be foundering in a traditional school. Creative, imaginative, exhausting, hilarious, and a “late” (read: she’ll read when she’s good and ready) reader who comes up with the most astonishing observations about the world. Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, she’ll never see the inside of a school building unless and until she decides she wants to go to college. So there!
February 10th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I’m glad to have read your description of your fine family life, and I hope that no-one uses this tv show as their source for information about either home schooling or unschooling, especially given the wealth of online information available.
That a portrayal of any family dynamic on a commercial television show would be edited and skewed towards drama and conflict for entertainment purposes is hardly surprising. In fact it is entirely predictable.
Which leads me to the one question that I am curious about. What prompted you to agree to be on the program in the first place?
February 11th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Heather Here.
I have some good news to report. Riley DOES like geography! Yesterday Riley and I were talking about the EURO and he asked if some South American country uses the EURO (I don’t recall which one). I grabbed the globe to show him which countries use the EURO and why. Of course, the conversation didn’t end there. He spent quite a bit of time looking at the globe and asking questions about it. We talked about countries, continents, gulfs, canals, trade routes, and explorers. It was an engaging conversation. Maybe he just didn’t realize that he was doing geography - don’t tell him!
And guess what? He found France!
-Heather
February 12th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Heather, thank you so much for sharing your philosophy about learning with the world! I have always been so impressed by the wit and intelligence evidenced by Riley and Harrison. There are many children who are stifled in the public school system and they “lose” that wit. It reminds me of boot camp where the spirit is broken so the individual may be reprogrammed. What a disservice we are doing to our children. While some children may thrive in a social setting such as the public school system, others are much more suited to an individual exploratory way of learning. If we are to provide education that is in the best interest of the child, shouldn’t it be one which is tailored to their unique way of learning? I am so glad to know you and your family and I praise your courage and dedication. Thank you Martinson family!
February 16th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
I watched the show and I thought it was obvious there was some funky editing going on.
I always use my family as an example of how well homeschooling works. After homeschooling for years, we had to put the kids back into school due to some family situations. They are excelling, both academically and socially. Because they have never been confined to the ‘box’ of schooling, they are comfortable in a variety of situations.
How many times have I seen a traditionally schooled child bored at a museum or struggling to relate to a child or adult, ANYONE not their precise age? Too many public school kids are bored with everyone and socially paralyzed outside the only context they have ever known. This is not what I call a well rounded education.
And homeschoolers are the ones robbing their kids? Keep at what you’re doing; we all saw through what was going on.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:04 am
I just read your story about the show and was at first angered by the shows creative editing. I am for homeschooling. I have many friends that homeschool in the state of Indiana and we acutally do a lot with them. I have choosen to send my children to public school. My friends support that decision. You on the other had think my children are living in a box and filling in bubbles all day. My oldest’s teacher is a creative wonderful Christian woman who adores and loves my child. She has uncovered a level of learning that I never even dreamed was possible in public school. Through our church my children interact with people of all ages and experience many things. Your veiw on public education is sad. I support your rights, don’t spout untruths about my children’s education. I am a proud Christian mom of a public schooled children.
May 26th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
I read the descriptions on the Wife Swap website and right away knew they were twisting it. I applaud your efforts with your children. I think that all parents have the right to educate their children in they way they feel is right for each individual child. I agree with most everything you have said. I do however know many public schooled families who are excellent. I also know many homeschooled families who are excellent. In many cases the public schools are greatly failing but once in a while you get a superb teacher. I homeschool and will continue until the Lord wants something different for my children.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:32 am
“But from what I gather, Kerry is a very nice person (not seen on the show) with incredible amounts of energy. She is a non-stop machine. Almost super-human. She is constantly on the go, and she has high expectations for herself and her girls.”
Kerry seemed to be a concerned parent, this is what I saw on the show. I think most Americans would agree. But I like that you give her a backhanded compliment (she is “nice”) before calling her negative phrases such as “a non-stop machine” and “super-human”. What Kerry does is what all families do for their children - provide and educate their children to the best of their ability. Giving their children as many opportunities as possible.
“That said, it is true that my boys may be behind their peers in some of the academic subjects. That comes across loud and clear on the show. That is what is seen.
What is not seen is how incredibly intelligent my sons are.”
So you agree then, your children are behind their peers in academic subjects? Just wanted to make that clear. Here’s a question: How will your sons ever know what they love, if you never INTRODUCE new learning material to them? Maybe your son is destined to be a microbiologist. But how would he ever find his passion if you were never to introduce the idea to him? Passions come from somewhere, they are introduced SOMEWHERE - school, teachers, after-school activites. You are limiting the development of your children’s possible talents by not allowing them to be introduced to new ideas. They don’t know these ideas “on their own”. If the only food you ever prepare for your child is a ham sandwich, will he ever know that he loves peanut butter and jelly more? That is one of the positives to children being enrolled in school. They meet different teachers and learn *all* subjects. They can take the multiple things they learn and decide what they like. By only letting your children learn what is “needed” or “called for” when they “have to” or “want to” you’re setting the bar at zero. You don’t even give your children a CHANCE to see if they like something. Why do you think your children have a poor view of school? Because you drill this into them. Tons of children LOVE school! They have a variety of positive, influential teachers and come home to involved, positive, influential parents.
“First off, Nicholas was hardly even shown. If you want to see the results of this approach to education, you have Nicholas as a prime example. Not only is he very competent in academics, he is also very capable of expressing himself and his opinions in a rational and intelligent way. He did very well at standing up to Kerry with some wonderful insights about why he feels his education is superior.”
Well, honestly, you can say this but you’re right, we haven’t seen the results, so we wouldn’t *really* know. We’d have to take your word on this, and honestly, from what I saw, how can I? You truly stand by the idea that your children have this great education when in reality, this is not true. I don’t see how you are qualified to really teach these children. What about setting them up with certified homeschool teachers? Even interview teachers who have the same values and ideas, who are certified, to teach your kids. And as far as Nicholas designing your husband’s book, wouldn’t it be great if you could see what more he could have accomplished if he had a computer course starting at the elementary age like other children. Maybe by now he would be a more knowledgable, accomplished designer. What really sets him apart from other kids who have already surpassed him in photoshop, microsoft publisher, etc. The kids who figured out they loved designing since they seven now have spent time polishing their skills and practicing more and working on more projects and have the guidance by professionals!
“Speaking of Lee, I am very pleased with the way he handled Kerry. She yelled in his face a lot and didn’t give him much of a chance to have a rational conversation with her. Her loss, really. I’m just glad that he did not lower himself to yelling back at her. That’s not the way to have an intelligent conversation.”
Yes, and it is so high of you to bad mouth her in your personal blog when she has no room to respond. I’m sorry, but that’s what this is. By the way, I catergorized it more as a mother and human being passionate about the way your kids were being raised (or is the term “UN-Raised). And also, I watched the episode, just now actually, and Kerry was right–your son could hardly write! Do you know what the word illiterate means? You are stunting your children!
“I’m not worried about it, because I know that he is a highly intelligent person and that when he is ready to, he will seek out how to do it on his own and he will do quite well.”
Well, it is no surprise that you are not worried. So what you are telling your son is that if he doesn’t want to do something, he shouldn’t have to? So what if he came to you tomorrow and said, “hey mom, I don’t think I want to brush my teeth anymore” would that be ok? Can you teach your kids in a fun way that would make him WANT to write more? Maybe your just not teaching your son that writing can be fun. And that is YOUR fault as a teacher. You are the first person I ever heard be so passive about the value of writing.
“What was not seen is that Riley is very advanced for his age.”
Yes, in your own opinion. When you are making an argument, understand that your audience to begin with isn’t on your side. You are trying to get us to accept that your son is advanced for his age without the substantial proof. My gosh, aren’t there state tests over there in California that those kids need to take in order to pass a grade level? Maybe we should blame this on California.
“In the past two years (he’s now 11) Riley has probably read more books than most adults have read in a lifetime. And he wouldn’t have the time to read this much if he were forced to go to school every day. Kind of ironic, don’t you think?”
I don’t even know where to begin about this statement - the fact that you just made a broad generalization of America and insulted most of the country, or the fact that you think no other children love to read except for Riley. Yes, you’re right, public school kids HATE reading! You got it!
“and likes to research stuff - anything that comes to mind.”
What is “stuff”?
“Then along comes Kerry, with her public school-minded approach to education. She took the fun and joyful act of learning and turned it into something painful for Riley. What you saw happening there is not Kerry teaching Riley, but testing him. How many children do you know would be happy to be put on the spot like that? Riley showed how uncomfortable he was by not even trying. In the end, he very deliberately stood on his own town and said, “Is this France?” It was not fun for him, nor was it even educational. It is obvious from that experience that Riley did not learn where France is. This was not Riley’s failure, it was Kerry’s.”
Oh no, look out for that devil Kerry!
And yes, test. Tests are what happen in the real world. Riley will eventually have to know and acquire information. How dare you blame the poor education you are giving Riley on Kerry. You may be teaching your son geography, but it seems that he did not retain any information. You say you are teaching your kids what they need to know for real life, correct? So you not testing your children means that there are no “tests” in real life, correct? Because tests are “not fun” and your children are completely turned off to things like “tests” because they are not “fun.” Well I hope your children never want to become doctors, lawyers, scientists, insurance agents, real estate agents, paralegals, psychologists, florists, physical trainers, librarians, pilots, or even work at the local convenient store - because guess what–they all require you to take a test. I mean, I’m not even going to bother mentioning college since you are so against this idea of public schooling. And quickly - are your children ever planning on driving? Because i’m pretty sure you have to take a test for that as well.
And another question - if you don’t test your children, how do you know they actually retain the information being taught to them?
Maybe it’s your constant reinforcement that public school is “bad” and a “perversion” (your husband’s adjective) that makes your children so turned off to public school in the episode. And why didn’t you address that. Public school is a “perversion”?! America is perverse? Just curious, what happened to you and your husband that made you conclude that public school is “perverse”.
“This is probably because he is the most academically intelligent of all my children.”
Let’s hope so. Easy for you to say though, as we have not seen much of this child and have no proof of this.
“Harrison is also an incredible speller. When Riley is writing and calls out asking how to spell a word, Harrison spells it for him. Harrison has also been caught correcting Nicholas’ spelling. Harrison enjoys sitting on my lap while I type so he can catch my errors.”
What does that say about Riley?
“Imagine a school where each day is an adventure. The children want to sit up front because they don’t want to miss one exciting moment. But they don’t sit for long! Soon they are happily moving about the room, involving their whole bodies in the learning experience. Matching up pictures, building things, collaborating, debating. Lots of energy in the room, lots of positive interaction, lots of fun, lots of learning. But maybe it’s a good thing Kerry didn’t try teaching my students. What if they wouldn’t want to come back!”
As if to say that public school is a negative experience? Yes, public school kids never build things, collaborate, or debate. They are inactive, have negative interactions, hardly ever have fun, and hardly ever learn. You are warped in terms of your ideas about public schooling if this is what you really believe. WOW.
“Not many people are brave enough to make any real kind of change.”
I don’t think “brave” is the right word.
“Fortunately, in California, private schools are allowed to set their own standards. Rather than putting together a complicated set of standards where I evaluate each child in order to determine if they are above, at, or below standard, I expect great things from each of my students.”
There’s the explanation. Way to go, California.
“This would only hamper their genius and take away from them what makes them special.”
So what you’re saying is that no other person has ever discovered their own talents. You’re saying that I have no aspirations because I went to public school. Thanks for informing me, I was completely unaware that I’m so “dreamless” and that I am so “talentless” and “stupid”.
“In the episode, I took Krista and Brooke to a theme park to show them that learning can happen anywhere. What is not seen is how difficult it was for them to do this. Both girls are taking physics classes.”
Yes, and also in the episode, your son said to Kerry “the thing right there bends” when explaining what he learned in your lesson with him about gravity. Quality education right there.
After watching the episode and reading your blog of excuses, I feel so sorry for your children. I would love to know just what your children will be doing with themselves in ten years. I can’t believe how superior you believe your way of “unschooling” is. I mean, look at the name: “UN-schooling”. Was that an intentional joke or plain stupidity.
I am not bashing “homeschool”. There are many children who are homeschooled and homeschooled in the right way. Your children are not and you have stunted their intelligence.
I watched the episode on television and was so floored by the representation of your family on tv. I thought: “this has to be staged, it has to be a misrepresentation, it has to be just for television.” I actually googled your family to see if any legal matters resulted from the way you were “un-schooling” your children. This blog showed up in the search and unfortunately, I realized it IS just as bad as what I watched on television.
I read somewhere that your family is described as believing in socialism. So you agree that the money earned from well-educated Americans who compete and work hard for their money and pass those law tests should be handed right over to your family in an equal distribution of wealth. I can’t believe you would take money from people who are so “preverse”.
Typical.
I doubt my message will probably even stay posted due to the fact that I actually called your family out on their poor “UN-schooling” beliefs. I am satisfied with just the thought of you at least reading it before deleting it.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:14 pm
I also would like to add that when you say things like the American school system is perverse and that we are all mindless atomatons, you are directly attacking our country and cannot expect to be safe from criticisms.
I would also like to address the spelling mistake I made in the third to last paragraph. “preverse” should be “perverse”
I would also like to ask in addition what life skills you are teaching your children, exactly, that you feel they would not get from a public or private school.
Also, what jobs do you see your children working in and what types of settings.
And at what age do you see your children on an even playing field as those that are graduating high school?
I would also like to clarify and say that I do not see the school system as replacement for parents.
October 9th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Katie,
First off — chill! You don’t need to “save” my family!
Wife Swap is a piece of entertainment, meant to evoke an emotional response. It sure worked on you!
Contrary to what seems to come off on the show, I don’t spend that much time on the “cotton-pickin’” computer & I don’t know that I have time to properly respond to your concerns. But yesterday I gave blood and so I’ll need a more sedentary day today.
You said, “Kerry seemed to be a concerned parent, this is what I saw on the show.” Most concerned parents don’t tirade (I hope). I first heard about Kerrry being a non-stop machine from Mark. That was how he described her and that was backed up by the girls and then by Lee. Mark told me she literally never sits down. He was the one who expressed that she is almost super human. Indeed, most humans do need down time, which she apparently doesn’t. Most people would be in awe of her energy.
You said, “Here’s a question: How will your sons ever know what they love, if you never INTRODUCE new learning material to them?” That’s exactly my point. How could the boys get much exposure if the sat in a box (classroom) all day with nothing but one teacher and a stack of textbooks? Rather, I’m all about exposure. We read from real books and visit the real places. If you watch between the lines of the show, you catch a glimpse of many wonderful learning experiences that were downplayed for the sake of the storyline. I spend more time than the majority of parents do in planning, preparing, and implementing tons of incredible learning experiences for my boys and for other homeschoolers. Take a look at the things we’ve done so far this school year: http://celebrationeducation.ning.com/
You said, “The kids who figured out they loved designing since they seven now have spent time polishing their skills and practicing more and working on more projects and have the guidance by professionals!” That’s simply not true. True graphic designers do not teach in our public schools. Children in school don’t have the time to develop their talents in this way. Their computer time is extremely limited. Take a look at this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A-ZVCjfWf8 . Not confined to the classroom, Nicholas has had the opportunity to learn directly from experts in the industry. His school friends who took those classes get help from him. Additionally, they have not created anything original. Only the homework assignments. They don’t have the time to do more than that. Additionally, Lee’s publisher did have some “professionals” design his cover, but it was a complete mess. That’s when we turned to Nicholas. He came up with a couple very nice designs. Lee held a poll of viewers and the cover was chosen by popularity. Sitting in a box would have stunted his abilities.
Additionally, if you want some kind of “proof” that Nicholas can function, well, he is an Eagle Scout. It is a rare individual who has the discipline and leadership to earn that award. Of course, he did need to read and write for many of those merit badges. So if you can trust the BSA to say that he’s competent, maybe his mom can say so, too?
BTW, Kerry herself was very impressed with Nicholas. She somewhat mentioned that she thinks that she and Brooke would get along well. I agree. They have many similar characteristics. Both great people.
You said, “Yes, and it is so high of you to bad mouth her in your personal blog when she has no room to respond.” Hey, we took our lickin’ on national TV, I’m sure she can handle my obscure blog. Kerry has seen the blog did not mention any offense taken. Like you, she is welcome to respond if she likes. She really is (I believe) a very nice person. She would not say such unkind things off camera.
You said, “By the way, I catergorized it more as a mother and human being passionate about the way your kids were being raised” No. Humans should not treat humans like that.
It’s been over a year since we signed the contract, so I believe I can talk a little more freely now. When they showed interest in having us on the show, we watched a few episodes to get an idea of what we were getting ourselves into (we rarely watch TV - nothing worth the time investment - including our own episode!). We were concerned that about how we saw all the families arguing all the time. Frankly, that’s just not how we roll. We specifically asked them if they expect us to argue, because we have no interest in being part of that. They said that they hired us to be who we are, we just need to be able to express our beliefs. No problem. We can do that. We do it all the time. But, again, a good discussion does not make good TV.
Mark and I had some great debates. I really enjoyed the discussions I had with him and the girls. Like Kerry, they never really understood what it is we do, but none of us got nasty. I thought we were going to have a boring episode! Little did I know, Kerry was at my house giving them plenty of fodder! The loudmouth got the airtime! But again, I honestly believe that Kerry is not like that in real life, and especially I believe (hope) that she does she treat her family like that. They would not be such a great family if they were emotionally abused on a regular basis. I can only assume that Kerry never knew that we don’t have to be loud and mean to be on the show. I’m pretty sure she played it up for the cameras.
You said, “Kerry was right–your son could hardly write!” Well it’s a good thing the public school system is not discredited every time there’s a child who falls behind in something.
The great thing is that when children fall behind in a subject, it does not mean they are stunted for life. I know tons of kids of various educational backgrounds who very capably catch up and even surpass their peers in a matter of months. No harm done. Some people panic. I don’t.
Honestly, Riley is smart and he can write. Judging Riley’s abilities on one writing sample is rash. Anybody can learn to write. It’s not as hard as people think. It’s only in school that they make it so complicated and confusing.
My daughter – yes daughter – taught herself how to write. When she took her college placement tests, the proctor said he had never seen such high scores in writing. Ya, I’m sure she’s stunted.
You said, “You are trying to get us to accept that your son is advanced for his age without the substantial proof.” OK, so you can determine from a few glances at my son that he is behind, but for some reason, I can’t spend a lifetime with him and determine that he is advanced?
Simply put, Riley reads all day. We all know that reading is the most important academic subject, but most kids are not allowed to spend much time doing it. Perhaps more kids would be better readers if they had the opportunities that Riley does. He reads books intended for high school students. No tests necessary.
You said, “the fact that you just made a broad generalization of America and insulted most of the country” I did not intend to insult the country, but I do have an issue with the way public schools are today. Most American from within and outside of the system wish things were better. I don’t think I said anything new there.
You asked, “What is “stuff”?” in regards to the stuff that Harrison likes to study. He spent an entire year on the human body. During this past summer (while most kids were doing anything but studying), Harrison’s interest was astrobiology – no joke – he asked me to pick up a few astrobiology books from the library & he ate them up! Right now, his big thing is Web sites and making money. He’s always coming up with new schemes for both. Unfortunately, these subjects are more difficult for an 8-year-old to gain access to. Texts are designed for high school and college students. But here’s his Website: Harrisonsgames.com See if you can find his “Click Heaven” page. You will see his great sense of humor coming through!
You said, “Tests are what happen in the real world.” Again, I reference my daughter’s experience. It was the first test she took since she was in third grade. Anyone can take a test. That’s not a skill that takes 12 years to learn.
You said, “Well I hope your children never want to become doctors, lawyers, scientists, insurance agents, real estate agents, paralegals, psychologists, florists, physical trainers, librarians, pilots, or even work at the local convenient store - because guess what–they all require you to take a test.” This statement is made with very little understanding. Unschooling has been around since the ‘70’s (actually, since the world began – most “greats” in the history of civilization were unschooled, but we don’t need to go there), so of course, by now we can see how “harmful” it has been. Interestingly, unschoolers are normal. They are found everywhere, just like public schooled kids are. Here’s an unschooler I know that became a lawyer: http://www.janelleorsi.com/
You said, “And quickly - are your children ever planning on driving? Because i’m pretty sure you have to take a test for that as well.” Yes, Nicholas passed his driver’s test the first time.
You said, “And another question - if you don’t test your children, how do you know they actually retain the information being taught to them?” Because I’m with my children so much, I know what they know. I am there. I’m with them. I see it. And just so know, most kids hardly remember anything the “covered” in school. They may even pass the tests, but they soon forget the information. Passed tests are not true indicators that learning has happened. Most people remember an extremely small percentage of what they learned in school. I haven’t seen the show, but perhaps that is why “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader” can have such success. Adults simply don’t remember the majority of the things that they learned in school. So why spend so much time not learning?
You asked, “Just curious, what happened to you and your husband that made you conclude that public school is ‘perverse’.” What I think is perverse is the complete disregard for the individual in the schools. They have established a system, where every child is held to a very specific “standard.” I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a standard child. Every child is an individual, and deserves to be educated as such. It is only through honoring their individual learning patterns and brain styles, that each child has the opportunity to become their best selves. The hard part is that a teacher with 30 children physically cannot even start to provide for the individual. To be able to keep order in the classroom, the children must all do the same thing. They are all expected to cover the same topics at the same time. The teacher does not have the luxury of helping the children learn through their passions. The children must all be treated the same. Neither their strengths, nor their weaknesses are properly addressed. This is the major reason why homeschooling is so big in this country. If a child needs more and the school is unable to accommodate, the parents make the incredible sacrifice to learn what their child needs, to study how to best serve their children, and then to do whatever it takes to provide that for them. If the school system were better, you would not see this exodus. You could talk to thousands of homeschoolers who believe that the worst environment for their children is in the public schools.
Additionally, brain science has taught us a lot about how the brain learns. We know that:
EXERCISE | Rule #1: Exercise boosts brain power.
Sitting too long stunts learning.
SURVIVAL | Rule #2: The human brain evolved, too.
We need emotionally safe learning environments and we need to collaborate – many schools don’t even acknowledge these needs.
WIRING | Rule #3: Every brain is wired differently.
One system is ineffective to reach a multitude of brains.
ATTENTION | Rule #4: We don’t pay attention to boring things.
Most schools are boring – the “covered” material is soon forgotten.
SENSORY INTEGRATION | Rule #9: Stimulate more of the senses.
Sitting in a box limits brain capacity.
EXPLORATION | Rule #12: We are powerful and natural explorers.
A student’s own curiosity is his most powerful learning tool.
These brain rules are from the book of the same name – “Brain Rules”. While this is a new book, the information therein is not new. Most of this stuff has been around for over two decades. The sick thing is that as a country, we have sold our children’s education for the price of testing. I repeat: Testing is not an indicator that -anything- has been learned.
I am indeed quite frustrated with the school system. They have this information – have had it for a while, but they ignore it. Instead, they continue to dish out education through the same vehicle that was established over 200 years ago. Their response? They think we need more of the same thing! Isn’t that the definition of insanity? OK, so I could easily tirade about this. I am very passionate about education.
I am 100% for a complete makeover of the school system. I haven’t watched the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition before, but my understanding is that there are times that they don’t just redecorate, but they demolish an entire home that’s inadequate in order to build something that’s more suited to the inhabitants. This is what I think needs to be done to our nation’s schools – not just a feel-good, skin-deep makeover.
OK, so I could totally go on all day about this, but I won’t. There’s so much more that can be said.
I do recognize that the majority of children do fine in schools. But I also believe that if the school’s goals were to encourage each child’s individuality rather than their standardization, each child would be better off. Indeed, our entire nation would be stronger because each person would be living up to their fullest potential. I honestly get excited thinking about the possibilities!
OK, I’ll calm down now.
On a lighter note, on one of the breaks from the table meeting shoot, Kerry pulled me aside and asked me why Riley was so resistant to go to school. I was surprised that he was resistant. I mean, I would think that a kid who has never been to school would love to go for a day or two. My answer to her is that perhaps it’s because he has a couple friends that attend my school who recently came to my school because of some things that had happened in their previous school experiences. So then when I had a chance to ask Riley why, he told me he did that for the show! He thought it would be more interesting for the cameras! I just laughed!
You said, “What does that say about Riley?” He’s learning. Nothing wrong with that.
You said, “As if to say that public school is a negative experience? Yes, public school kids never build things, collaborate, or debate. They are inactive, have negative interactions, hardly ever have fun, and hardly ever learn.”
It actually is a rare school that will do all those things on a regular basis. Most of the time it’s all about the textbooks, worksheets, discipline (including threats), and tests. Everything else is the exception. I don’t think I’m being delusional in my assessment here. I did go to school myself & from what I’ve seen there have been some wonderful, sparkling things that happen in the schools – things so unique that they make the news – but for the most part it’s the same. The biggest change I’ve seen is that there’s a lot more teaching to the test now. I see that as regression.
You said, “I don’t think “brave” is the right word.” I do. It isn’t easy to break from tradition. Many teachers who have tried to make a difference have been ridiculed and blackballed.
You said, “Way to go, California.” I can’t make fun of people, but you can?
You said, “So what you’re saying is that no other person has ever discovered their own talents. You’re saying that I have no aspirations because I went to public school. Thanks for informing me, I was completely unaware that I’m so “dreamless” and that I am so “talentless” and “stupid”.” Um, chill, K? You obviously do have abilities. You don’t have to take my interest in my children as a personal attack on you.
You said, “Yes, and also in the episode, your son said to Kerry “the thing right there bends” when explaining what he learned in your lesson with him about gravity. Quality education right there.” Right. Adults never say things like that. Heaven forbid someone might be vague!
I think you are talking about their experience at the amusement park. At least Riley was interested in discussing the matter. Krista and Brooke couldn’t be engaged.
You said, “I mean, look at the name: ‘UN-schooling’. Was that an intentional joke or plain stupidity.” I understand that you don’t have a clear understanding of the term. And actually, I never used that term. They were looking for unschoolers and thought we fit the title and used it on us. There are many ways to unschool, and most the unschoolers I know “school” much more than their public schooled counterparts. This is because they never stop learning. It is part of what they do, like eating, sleeping, and breathing.
Before the show first aired, I had the chance to see the press release just before it went out. It called us unschoolers. I told them it’s not really a term I identify with, but “Fun-schooling” is more descriptive. They changed it in the press release, but it was already in the episode. The only time you hear me say “unschooler” in the episode, is at the table meeting. Kerry was quite upset about unschooling and I defended it. Indeed, I will always defend unschooling.
In the 20+ years I have been involved in homeschooling, I have seen every style and approach. Everything from overschooling (parents want their children to have more schooling that the schools give) to radical unschooling (the children are allowed to play video games all day). The amazing thing is that both approaches succeed and fail at the same rate. Both have produced highly successful students as well as kids that are messed up. What I have learned is that the absolutely most important element in a child’s education is the involvement of the parents. Anyone in the school system can tell you that. If the parents are involved, the child will do well. There is no program that can beat the influence of a loving parent.
You said, “I read somewhere that your family is described as believing in socialism.” I have no idea where that came from. We have are anti-socialism, taking an active role in politics to fight against such ideas.
You said, “I doubt my message will probably even stay posted due to the fact that I actually called your family out on their poor ‘UN-schooling’ beliefs.”
Well, I don’t mind being called out, but I do mind the tone in which you did it. You really did cross the line, but I’ll let it go. I do that, too. I am so passionate about what I do that I also word things in strong terms – as you have pointed out.
I am not upset with you, but I understand that you do represent a large portion of our society. I don’t expect that I am going to sway you in any way. Rather, I may have upset you more. I understand. I never want to be labeled as “normal.” My passion drives me to the point where I’m making waves. My statements are not always popular or accepted. I’m good with that.
-Heather Martinson
October 9th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
You said, “I also would like to add that when you say things like the American school system is perverse and that we are all mindless atomatons, you are directly attacking our country and cannot expect to be safe from criticisms.” I honestly don’t recall us using these words. There was a time when slavery was under attack. People were ridiculed, criticized, beaten, and even killed for speaking against it. Fortunately, I don’t get it that bad. Nevertheless, I am very strong in my beliefs on this. I don’t see it as weakening a system, but hoping to make something better. Getting rid of slavery was one of the most difficult things this country has ever endured. But now that we are past that, we are all better off.
Changing a deeply entrenched school system and long-held beliefs and traditions is never easy. Most people just shut up and sit down and do what they’re told. Not me. Criticize away. I knew when I chose this path that I would take criticisms. What I didn’t realize is how little I would be criticized. Honestly, I have people coming out of the woodwork telling me that I’m doing something that is needed. In my school, I have students that like school for the first time in their lives. Their parents are telling me they can’t remember when their children have learned so much and asked to learn more. It is a wonderful experience to be at ground zero of a swelling change for good.
I know it’s hard for you to conceive how this is good, but maybe someday…
You said, “I would also like to address the spelling mistake I made in the third to last paragraph. “preverse” should be “perverse” I don’t see it. Anyway, I never claimed to be perfect. Typos and spelling errors happen. For example, you have several in your post, including ones that would not be caught by spellcheck. No worries. It happens.
Another insider note: On ABC’s Wife Swap page, they had what was supposed to be my words, describing my family, but I didn’t write it. It was based on many hours of interviews, which they compiled in a certain way to get their desired effect (the emotional response). On this page, the spelled “learned” as “learnt” several times. Aaargh!!!! I would never spell it like that unless I was joking around! I asked them to correct it, but they never did. I guess it didn’t fit the profile they wanted. Whatever.
You said, “I would also like to ask in addition what life skills you are teaching your children, exactly, that you feel they would not get from a public or private school.” Maybe I’ve been out of it so long I can’t understand this question at all. What are “life skills”? It sounds like the name of the classes that special needs (used to be called “retarded”) kids take because in order to learn how to function in society. My kids are not retarded. Not fully understanding the question, I’ll go ahead and take a stab at an answer. Because my kids aren’t stuck in a classroom all day, they have the opportunity to experience many aspects of real life.
You said, “Also, what jobs do you see your children working in and what types of settings.” Nicholas will be doing some type of design. He will be going to an art school. One of his mentors is an architect. He is one of the wealthiest persons I know. I sure Nicholas will succeed at whatever he sets his mind to.
Riley and Harrison are a bit young to peg-hole yet, but I figure Riley will be some type of office job. I see him as a successful pencil pusher. I also think he would do well with numbers and not be bored by them.
Since cheetah is an “impossible dream” I guess Harrison will have to settle for something more human-like. Of all my kids, he has a lot of interest in very technical things (like programming), so he would do well with some type of computer or other science. But I would have to honestly say that Harrison’s dominant feature is actually his interpersonal skills. At his young age, he has the ability to get people to believe and trust him. People of all ages revere him and seek him out. He is not afraid to be in front of people or to speak his mind. He is confident, dynamic, and loveable. I believe that these are the skills that will make him successful in anything that he pursues. Seriously. Check back in twenty years (he will only be 18 in 10 years).
I appreciate your concern for my boys and I know you only have the best intentions. I hope you understand that I do what I do because of my own deep concern for my boys. I have done many years of research into what I feel would be best for them. I just don’t trust you, the “professionals” or any other pushy stranger with my children. Rather, I study hard and work hard. The same thing I expect my boys will do.
OK, so this has taken way too much time. I gotta get back to real life (as opposed to “reality” TV).
All the best,
Heather Martinson
October 9th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Ha! I just realized that you were addressing your spelling error, not mine! Sorry about that. I took everything as an attack on me! Um… sorry.
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:24 am
I have watched your show a couple times with my boys and each time they have the same reaction. Your boys look happy the girls however don’t .
They may not have edited to show unschooling in the best light possible , but no matter how they did edit what came across was your sons spirit , happiness and love which is really the heart of unschooling …so great job !
November 4th, 2009 at 6:23 am
I don’t watch much tv but I was waiting for the polls to close here in Maine and had a chance to see your adventure on Wifeswap. I just wanted to say” you had little chance to explain or teach such an amazing way of life” The other family would have to deschool at least 2 years to even get close to understanding where you are and what it means to let go and embrace a wonderful way to live. I applaud your courage to even try. They can go for the grades you go for the life.
Thank You for letting me see into your world.
Michelle 3 unschooling of my own 17,12,9
P.S. We are on our way to seal class where they are releasing a seal back into the wild today. - now that is science
May 6th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Informal schooling should be done at a young age when the child builds schemas based on experiences. Formal education MUST step in to allow the child to access more information into schemas they cannot learn on their own; this additional information is based on one’s culture. Formal schooling is important because it then allows these children to adapt to one’s culture. You think conformity is a bad? 1. It allows us to predict people’s behaviors through norms (isn’t it nice to walk the street and not have people mugging you?) 2. It is that means by which individuals adapt to their cultural expectations. 3. It ensures survival in that particular society. PEOPLE CAN THINK FOR THEMSELVES AND STILL CONFORM! Subcultures exist in mainstream and even on the individual level we can look at norms and choose what to abide by through FREE WILL. Ex) I conform to the dress norm, but I HATE crocs despite the fact they are so popular so I choose not to wear them. You seem to carry this notion we are all brainwashed, which isn’t true humans have free will and practice this everyday. Conformity is important to THRIVE in one’s culture. In terms of formal schooling–its needed! Self control, respect, etc all learned in formal schooling. We learn our culture expectations in formal schooling which then allow us to survive in the environment we live in. Unless you want leave your children inept to adapt into the real world you need to adjust your education standards and philosophy. FYI when people tell you that your living in “La La land” they mean you’re setting up your children to thrive in a culture that is not America…
–I can pratice cultural relativism to an extent until I come across information that needs to be put into context
PS; What is your level of education????